What We Hope is Never Found
by Rogue Darth Skywalker
Summary: The impending existence of a recording of them together held dangers that went a little deeper than if they were found naked and tangled together in her office or on his cruiser. The physical proof of their relationship would cause an uproar if it were discovered. But she trusted Anakin. Smut.


**So... been working on this for awhile. It's smut. Pure and simple.**

 **Happy Reading!**

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"Are you sure about this?" The robe was pulled tightly around her body as Anakin set up the holorecorder in their bedroom. They hadn't seen each other in weeks. The war keeping both of them occupied with him serving on the front lines and her on the home front. And much to her surprise, when they finally had a chance to get away and return home to their beloved lake house at Varykino, he brought with him a holorecorder intent on bringing one of his daring sexual fantasies to life. Far from the first time he'd suggested it, but she had always taken it like all of his other harebrained ideas and played along with it, never thinking he would actually want to act it out. She should have known better.

"Of course I'm sure," He said, looking back to check the angle of the shot, his upper torso almost completely bare, hidden only by the light-weight under tunic held closed by a single loose knot. Any other night she would have just walked up to him and torn the tunic off of his body and thrown him onto the bed, sometimes for sex, others times to make sure he's come home in one piece, but more often just to enjoy feeling his skin so close to hers and simply take comfort in his presence. But tonight, the nerves were getting to her. She hasn't been this nervous since their first night in this very room on their wedding night which feels so long ago. How could it possibly be only two years since that night?

"Are _you_ sure?" He asked, turning to face her after he finished the final adjustments.

The idea that after tonight there would be footage of such an intimate moment between them was… terrifying. But she could not deny it was also quite thrilling. Anakin, in general, was thrilling. In the time since they were married, their intimate moments had, more often than not, occurred far from a bed. Short and constrained by time, they seldom had more than a few hours — maybe a night or two if they were lucky. Any shyness regarding sex, they had quickly learned to ignore. They didn't care when or where it happened, just so long as precautions were taken to ensure their secrets were safe.

The impending existence of a recording of them together held dangers that went a little deeper than if they were found naked and tangled together in her office or on his cruiser. The physical _proof_ of their relationship would cause an uproar if it were discovered. But she trusted Anakin. More than anyone else in the galaxy, she was certain he would take every precaution to ensure that no one would ever find it. And he wanted this. The smile on his face when he showed her the holorecorder and the way he ran up the stairs with a spring in his step, eager to get it set up, spoke volumes on how much he wanted this. How could she possibly refuse especially when such happiness was hard to come by these days? "Y-yes," Padme said, cursing under her breath for sounding hesitant.

He raised his brow skeptically, "I can sense you're not one hundred percent into this," He stated. "I can put the holorecorder away and we can just—"

"No!" She said, taking a deep breath to compose herself, "No," She said, much calmer than she had before, "I'm just… a little nervous," Padme played with the cord of her robe. What were the chances of the recording reaching the public? Probably no less risky than a security recording of Anakin sneaking into her apartment on Coruscant at night and sneaking out before daybreak. He'd probably be the only person who'd ever watch the recording if he ever did at that! Because why watch a recording of it when he could just do the real thing with her? It was a fantasy and not one that was uncommon or outlandish. There were worse rumors floating in those tabloid stories springing up every so often! So what was there to fear beyond the unlikely chance of the holo reaching the media?

Nothing.

Slowly she tugged the knot in the cord free and slid the collar to the side, giving him a peek at the red strap of what she wore underneath. She didn't miss the way his Adam's Apple bobbed or how his eyes trailed over her filled with a deep longing for what was to come.

Her lips curled up into a sly smile as she sensually closed the distance between them, her hips swaying suggestively. Her right hand found his left bicep and trailed her fingers lightly down to his hand holding the remote to the holorecorder. She played with his digits for just a moment before slipping the remote from his hand and pressing the "record" button. The small red light on the holorecorder blinked to life. Their image was now being burned into the holodisk stored inside.

 _Just breathe_ , Padme reminded herself. _It's just us. Just me and Ani. No different than any other time. Just us._ Throwing the remote onto the bench against the wall, Padme put the holorecorder out of mind as, at long last, she lunges at her husband, taking his face in her hands and pulling his lips down to hers.

His arms came to wrap tightly around her as he returned her passionate kiss. Their bodies pressed together, she could already feel his excitement pressing against her hip. She smiled through the kiss, even now still amazed at how easy it was to arouse him with just a simple kiss. It was physical proof that the whispered words he'd speak to her were true. His love for her eternal, his desire _for_ her, to _please_ her, as steadfast as the light from the stars.

Her tongue flicked at his lips, urging him to open his mouth to her. Their tongues danced in a well practiced routine that always got their blood pumping in anticipation of what the remainder of the night held for them. Padme slid her hands down to the loose collar of his shirt and pulled it roughly off his shoulders, bunching at the elbows, but she didn't care at the moment, focused on feeling his bare flesh on her palm, blindly inspecting his body for any new wounds the war may have marred his perfect body with. Anakin groaned when she pressed her hand against a rough raised welted line of skin on his back— a cut, she suspected— that had yet to heal.

It pained her to see him hurt. It reminded her that as incredible her husband is, he is only human and despite all his promises, he cannot guarantee that he will always come back to her. With every day the war keeps them apart, and every rumor whispered in the halls of the Senate, the lingering fear that she could have been made a widow, terrifies her. But every time she sees him in the holonews, on a joint mission, or even just hearing confirmation that he is alive through official reports, it's like she can finally breathe again. And seeing him in person, being able to hold him in her arms, and kiss him, it's like taking the first gasp of air after drowning.

Anakin let the thin shirt he wore fall from his arms onto the floor, pulling back from the kiss, his fingers pulled at her robe, trying to get it off her, eager to see the little gift she wore for him but the slight pressure of her hand pressed to his chest held him at bay. Their eyes found one another and she giggled at the impatience in her husband's eyes. Gently, she pushed at him again, slowly guiding his backward steps until the backs of his knees hit the end of the bed, his eyes never leaving hers as he sat down. Padme stepped away from him, her eyes holding his with a seductive gaze. She didn't normally do things like this. Little seductive games like this would take up too much of their already too little time together and so they often would just jump straight into the more… _physical_ ways to arouse and please. But tonight they had time. And it was _his_ fantasy they were playing out and she knew he would _very_ much appreciate what she had in store for him.

Padme watched the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he leaned back on his forearms and spread his legs wide, the tented bulge in his pants showing her exactly how excited her lover was. Tentatively her fingers played with the collar of her robe, slowly parting it, she let it side down to give him a small peek at the sheer red lace babydoll she wore before turning her back to him. The holorecorder was positioned just to the right of her and the sight of the small indicator brought back the nervousness she had felt earlier. Her heart pounded a deafening beat against her chest. She could feel Anakin's eyes on her and she just knew that he could sense her fear. But she couldn't let that ruin the moment. Taking a deep breath, she let her robe fall to the floor, pooling at her feet. If her husband had been about to say something, whatever it was, came out as a strangled sigh. The sound brought a pleased smile accompanied by a light blush on her face. She had hoped for this kind of reaction. The sheer red lace babydoll she wore came down just far enough to cover her upper thighs, leaving the bottom half of her rear and the matching g-string on full display for him. Her husband's inability to speak had her sparing a glance over her shoulder at him, swaying her hips to the opposite side to see his reaction for herself.

His eyes were wide and practically glowing with shock and arousal while his jaw was left gaping wide open. He'd never seen her wear something like this. Fabric thin enough that the pink of her nipples were visible and panties that just barely covered where she ached for him, the lingerie was designed _solely_ for sexual appeal, something she never really thought about. Anakin was extremely easy to turn on she simply had to be in the same room as him and he would be ready to go at a moments notice. But while she was waiting for him to arrive at Varykino, she found the lingerie hanging in the back of her closet, unworn and tempting the side of her that longed to do something to please her husband after being apart for so long. And boy, was it working wonders on her Ani.

His hands twitched, wanting so badly to touch her but it didn't seem he could decide _where_ he wanted to touch her first. Padme made the choice for him, backing up until their legs just barely brushed before she sat on his lap, grinding her backside against his hard cock still confined in his pants. Repeating the action, his hands flew to her waist, aiding in guiding her hips as they moved against him.

"Padme…" Her name slipped past his lips in a strangled groan as his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his right hand trailing up her stomach towards her breast. She leaned against him, thrusting her chest into his hand as he cupped her breast. Almost immediately his lips latched onto her neck with a growl, nipping at the skin as his fingers pinched and pulled at her pert nipples all the while continuing to grind against one another. The metal of his cybernetic arm felt cold against her skin but she was used to it and she had come to love the feel of it. The gold tips of his fingers felt smooth against her nipple and contrasted with the rough ridges that separated each segment of every digit. The touch receptors in the limb weren't nearly as sensitive as his flesh and occasionally he would pinch a little too hard but the slight pain was welcome, especially when accompanied by a particularly hard brush against her clit.

Loosening his hold on her waist, Anakin lifted the bottom of the sheer babydoll just high enough to skim his fingers along the waistband of her panties before slipping his fingers inside. "Oh, Ani!" She pressed her back harder against him, her legs spreading wider for him as he ran his fingers through the wetness their tryst has caused.

"Padme…" He growled, pressing hard against her clit as he ground his hips up. "You're so wet… You want this… you want… me."

"Yes.." She sighed, her head falling back against his shoulder.

"Say it…" He hissed. "Tell me… tell me you want me…"

"Only you," She said, " _Ah!_ … I've only ever wanted _you_ , Ani… Please! Oh, _Please!_ Anakin! Ah, Gods!"

Anakin slipped his fingers lower from her clit, circling her opening before thrusting two fingers into her waiting warmth. His teeth bit down hard on her shoulder as she cried out in pleasure. "So tight…" He groaned, "You're so _tight_ for me, Padme… Fuck!"

Her head tilted to the side, exposing her neck fully to his mouth. Her hand came up to cup the back of his neck, holding onto him both for balance and to encourage his eager mouth— not that he needed any encouragement. " _Yes!_ Oh, yes, _Anakin!_ …I need you… I need you _now_ — _Ah!_ "

His fingers curled inside her and she couldn't contain her scream as he started teasing her clit with each thrust of his fingers. "What is it?" He asked, "Huh? What do you need, my love?"

Padme didn't even remember when she had closed her eyes but when she opened them she was staring straight at the holorecorder. Looking back at Anakin, she saw that glint of mischief shining in his eyes. He wanted her to be explicit. He wanted her to tell him— tell the _holorecorder_ — exactly what she wanted from him. Such talk wasn't something they did often but whenever they did, Padme always found it extremely difficult to start. He always thought it amusing. An eloquent senator can't even tell her husband that she wants his cock. Instead, she found _other ways_ to tell him.

Reaching down between her legs, she slowly traced his restrained member practically trembling in his pants. A small dark stain already forming on the front. She traced him from base to tip and circled the head with her index finger, feeling the warm sticky liquid leaking from him through his pants. Anakin involuntarily thrust his hips into her hand and moaned loudly into her neck as he molded his hand to her breast. He wanted her so bad, she knew he was close to giving in and taking what he wants and the thought had wet heat pooling between her legs. She wanted it too.

It only took a hard squeeze to his cock and a firm brush of the tip against her clit for him to let out a loud strained moan as he rolled them over and onto the center of the bed. Her head rested on her folded forearms as his weight was pressed against her back, his hips rocking against hers as he planted hurried kisses to her neck and shoulder.

"Oh, Anakin.." Padme sighed, pressing her backside into him. His arms slid tightly around her waist, holding her still for a moment as he panted against her back. With one last kiss to her spine, he uncurled himself from her. Anakin pushed the sheer fabric still covering her torso up, taking care not to rip it as it slid over her head and let it fall to the floor. The fingers of his cybernetic hand trailed slowly down her back, the cold metal sending a shuddering shiver down her spine.

Behind her, she could hear the rustle of fabric and heavy breathing but, unusually, it wasn't accompanied by a touch. The dip of the mattress made it obvious he was still behind her and she could _feel_ his eyes on her. Padme felt her cheeks blush red at the thought of him _staring_ at her backside. The panties she still wore hid very little from his gaze and it confused her why she should feel embarrassed. He has done so much more between her legs than just stare. Memories of his head between her legs and his tongue working wonders against her folds flashed in her mind. Was he going to do it tonight? Anakin would eat her out every night if she let him and tonight seemed like the night she was willing to do almost anything so long as she could feel him deep inside her and forget about the holorecorder watching them more intently than even the security team she had when she was Queen.

Padme looked back over her shoulder and felt her cheeks heat up even more. Anakin wasn't _just_ staring at her. His pants were bunched around his knees as his left hand held a tight grip on his hard throbbing cock, stroking it with slow twisting motions. His eyes had the same mystified look they had when they first married, so in awe that they were together that it felt like an almost impossible dream. Anakin met her gaze and he smirked, the white of his teeth gleaming in the dim lights. His head ducked towards her backside, kissing her lower back lightly before shifting his weight. His fingers looped the waistband of her panties and slowly dragged them down her legs.

The head of his cock pressed against her folds, coating the tip in her essence. "Anakin…" She sighed, leaning back towards him. His hands took her hips firmly, his thumbs tracing circles on her hips before thrusting into her fully.

"Padme…" He hissed, "Fuck!"

Her eyes closed and her back arched at the feeling of him deep inside her. It had been far too long since she felt him like this. Too long since he was embraced by her warm walls, hugging him tightly like a vise grip. It had been far too long since either of them had felt whole.

Anakin withdrew from her slowly until only the tip remained and then with a solid thrust, buried himself inside her again. Any attempt at a smooth and slow rhythm went unnoticed as he surged within her. The room filled with the sounds of their lovemaking. The meeting of their sweat covered flesh, their unrestrained vocalization with each and every movement. Padme was glad they were at Varykino where they were granted the rare privacy they both wanted.

His teeth bit sharply into the side of her neck tearing a cry from her lips as the fingers of his left hand wrapped gently around her throat, coaxing her to tilt her head back. He planted light kisses at the base of her jaw. "Open your eyes, Angel," He whispered and slowly her eyes opened. Directly in front of her was the holorecorder and she felt him thrust harder into her. "Talk to me, Padme," He said, "Say my name…"

"Anakin…"

"Yesss…" His voice came out in a sharp hiss as her eyes fell closed again. "Keep them open…"

She couldn't. The quick jabs of his cock hitting so deep inside her and the tinge of nervousness from the recording made keeping her eyes open far more challenging than it normally would have been. But she tried. It had been easy to ignore the holorecorder when it wasn't in her face, but now staring at it, her fears started to poke holes in her resolve. But Anakin's teeth nipping at her neck and the whispered encouragement from his lips left her mind and body in an intense battle of fear versus pleasure. His hips slammed against Padme with a resounding slap of their flesh meeting. Her mouth fell open as a loud euphoric cry passed her lips. She tried to talk to him like he wanted but they failed to form on her tongue properly, only coming out in jumbled sounds varying in pitch.

"Ana-!"

His teeth sunk into the tender flesh of her neck as a rumble from his chest vibrated onto her back. "So good… so— so tight… You're so _wet_ for me…"

"Y-yes…" She sighed, "Only for you…" Her words slowly started to return to her as his grip on her hips tightened to a bruising hold as he started to pull her back to meet his hard thrust. "Yes, Anakin… You're so… _big_ , and… _and hard_ … I love it…" Padme could feel his breath on her neck and the pulsing of his member inside her. He loved hearing her talk. He loved hearing her praise, especially in these moments of intimacy. She never really considered sexy talk to be one of her strong points but it always seemed to rile him up in ways both of them enjoyed. "You're so good at this… _so deep_."

Anakin groaned loudly in her ear as his pace increased. He was close. She could feel it and she wanted more than anything for him to enjoy this. "Oh, Ani… I can _feel_ you… _Throbbing_ … inside me…" indistinguishable sounds reverberated from his chest as his right arm tightened around her hips. "Come…" She whispered. "Come inside me… _fill me_ … I-I want to feel you…" Anakin's mouth fell open as her name fell in a strained moan from his lips. His cock throbbed intensely as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her lover, releasing his load with one final deep penetrating thrust and a strangled cry.

She felt each spasm of his body as his warmth flooded her core and he leaned more of his weight onto her back. He was heavy and maybe a little uncomfortable, but with his head buried in her shoulder blade, dusting her skin with feather light kisses and feeling his ragged breath fanning across her back, she was in no hurry to push him off just yet.

"You're just full of surprises tonight, Angel," He said, his lips curling into a smile against her back. She couldn't help but smile in turn. She had a few more surprises for him before the night would be done. After all, he still hadn't made _her_ come yet.

Slowly, Padme started to rock against him. His still sensitive cock swirled inside her as he hissed, his hand returning to her hip and squeezing tightly, trying to stop her. "Padme…" He whined.

"What?" She asked, throwing her hair over one shoulder and glancing back at him, "I still want you, Ani…" Her voice came out in a breathy whisper that made his breath hitch. Padme smiled, deciding to push things a little farther, "Don't you… Don't you want to… _please_ me?" Her hips slid back against him, sheathing his cock completely as she ground against him. She could feel him slowly start to harden inside her again.

Anakin hissed as his hands gripped her hips tightly, his stomach tensed as he strived off coming inside her again with his eyes clenched shut tightly. "Always, Angel, always," He said. It was exactly what she wanted to hear. Taking advantage of his distracted mind, she pulled free, slipping his cock from inside her and slipping out from his hold, twisting around until she was facing him before shoving his back hard against the mattress. Their bodies bounced on the bed with his fall, his eyes were wide as he looked up at her. His cock was only semi-hard, just barely standing from his nest of dark blond hair.

Her lips curled at the sight, knowing it wouldn't take much longer before he would be ready to go again. Roughly, Padme pulled his pants still on his legs off, inspiring a smile on his face at her feistiness. She pretended not to notice. Taking her time, she crawled over him, bowing her head towards his cock to press a light kiss to the head. His hips jumped at the contact as he took a sharp breath. Her eyes met his excited gaze and she licked her lips before climbing higher up his body. The farther up she moved, the further back his body went until his head rested against the mattress and her legs straddled his chest.

She could feel his seed still warm inside her slowly drip out of her core and onto his chest. But that wasn't where she wanted it. Shifting further up, she moved to straddle his face. With an aroused groan, he knew what she wanted and dove his head towards her, his tongue delving deep inside her as his hands gripped her already bruised hips, holding her against his face as he tasted her and himself on his tongue.

The sight was erotic. Anakin lapping up his own seed from her core, feeling his tongue sweeping every inch of her he could reach, and she absolutely _loved_ it. It was so dirty and arousing she quickly felt her excitement build and build, leading her closer to the precipice he had already experienced. She could feel his nose nudged against her clit and she hissed as her hand found its way into his hair, gripping the golden locks tightly. She felt herself getting close. So close. " _Anakin_ …" Her hips started to rock against him as he held her steady over him. Without warning, she reached her end. A loud cry fell from her lips as she felt her walls clamp down on his tongue and her grip on his hair tightened until he groaned and he continued to please her through her climax until the wave passed.

Slowly, Padme let go of his hair, the golden locks sticking out slightly where her hand had just been Her whole body trembled as she slowly eased herself off of him to lay next to him. The smug grin on his face had her rolling her eyes as her leg brushed against his and she directed her gaze lower down his body. His eyes followed hers as he leaned up to rest on his forearms, curious to see if she would do something about the rigid erection he now had standing tall and ready for her. Her hand on his chest, she slowly dragged it down his body, tracing every ridge of his well-muscled body from his collarbone to his pectoral, and grazing her nails lightly over his abdomen before she traced the 'V' dipping sharply towards his member and wrapped her fingers tightly around him. He was hot to the touch and already pulsing. Having already come once, they both knew he wouldn't last as long. And so, after three firm tugs, they were moving once again. Padme settled on her back this time as he moved to rest his hips in the warm cradle her thighs made for him. Anakin pressed his forehead to hers, panting above her for a moment before craning towards her, kissing her deeply. There was no lust in this kiss, only the deep, passionate, eternal love they had for one another. Her hands found their way into his hair, running her fingers through the thick locks of golden hair on his head. She loved his hair. Loved how she could grip the strands now that he had grown it out since being knighted. It suited him. Added to his already incredible sex appeal. And she was the only one who could touch it like this.

They broke the kiss only when they ran out of breath, their foreheads leaning against one another as his hand found her cheek, tracing the bone with loving affection before he entered her once again. Both let out pleasured groans at the drag of his hard cock sliding inside her. Anakin gave one shallow testing thrust before pulling back until just the head was encased by her core before thrusting back in as hard as he could.

Padme's head was thrown back with the pleasure of the penetration, her nails raking hard over his scalp until he let out a pained groan and roughly pulled her hands from him, pinning them above her head with one hand as his hips rocked into her. She gave up any attempt at speech. Lost in the feel of him, she couldn't focus on anything else but the pleasure. All around her, her senses were occupied only by him. Anakin's voice, the rough feel of his skin against hers, his sweat mixing with hers, his scent swirling around them… nothing ever felt more perfect to her.

Sitting up on his heels, Anakin gripped her thighs tightly as he spread her legs wider. His hair was in complete disarray, the ends of his hair were darkened by sweat, sticking to the back of his neck and falling into his face. He was panting hard as his movements became erratic, his pelvis grinding roughly against her clit perfectly, poking at the deepest parts of her core.

" _Ani!_ " She cried, "Oh, oh, _Aah!_ …"

His right hand on her leg slipped up to grab her hip, guiding her into rocking her hips with him. One hard thrust had her hand flying to grip his wrist at her hip, squeezing hard as she moved with him. She could feel the pressure building as her walls trembled around him.

"Padme…" Her name fell from his lips, as his gaze moved from her to glance at the holorecorder still recording them for just a moment.

She'd forgotten about it. But she couldn't even bring herself to even recognize it as one hard thrust hit so deep inside her, her walls constricted and released the tidal wave of ecstasy they had been building towards, her husband never once stopping his movements as he too reached his end only three shallow thrusts after her.

Her eyes opened moments later, not even remembering when she had closed them, but not caring as she felt the heavy yet comfortable weight of Anakin resting above her. His left hand was cupping her breast, his eyes closed as his back rose and fell harshly with each breath. She could feel his warm seed inside her, his soft cock still buried to the hilt inside her, simply reveling in the post-sex calm.

When they finally regained the ability to move, they slowly shifted up to the head of the bed, Padme pulling the covers up as Anakin used the Force to call the remote to the holorecorder to his hand. With the press of a button, the blinking indicator turned off and he carelessly threw the remote over his shoulder, hitting the floor with a _clank_. He shuffled closer to his wife, a wolfish smile on his face as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. His lips pressed a chaste kiss to her neck as they settled down against the pillows, "Thank you," He whispered and Padme turned to face him with a tired smile on her lips. She didn't say anything and simply took his face in her hands, kissing him deeply and pushing him down onto his back before breaking the kiss and resting her head against his chest. His heartbeat was still faster than normal but she took comfort letting its slowing pace and the warmth of his arms around her lull her, the holorecording far from her thoughts as she slowly drifted to sleep.


End file.
